Sunday, January 17, 2010

7 months

This is my first late post since you left us. The 13th marked 7 months. Everyday has been hard but today, for some reason, has threw me through a loop.

I have been trying so hard to be the mother you would have had, trying so hard to be a good wife to daddy, and a good Mommy to your Go Go and Sis Sis.

Today I have been so focused on what would have been, what should have been. I imagined you crawling around and getting into things and I would have love it if that were the case.

The amount I miss you is know more than ever. Maybe reality has finally set in. I don't know. I was doing really well and today was a huge step back. Missing you is painful for sure. You belong here with us. Bottom line. In my selfish way I want you with us. I want to know what a great little rug rat you could have be. Bringing more joy to us then you already did.

We miss you so much, more now than ever. I just hate the fact that I have to live the rest of life missing you.

I have been trying. Trying so hard to live for you. But it is hard and it is painful. This kind of stuff happens to other people, not to yourself.

The hard part is letting go the dreams we had for you since we saw the + pregnancy test, The dreams that can't happen. We mourn those too.

We love you so much baby girl love bug. We just want you back......although that is impossible.

You touched alot of lives in your short life, A LOT!!!

I love you so much and always ALWAYS will. You will always be my baby! Our baby.

I love you sweet angel. I always will!!