Another "Baby" Step & Back To Work

Every day that I look a Kali's pretty little face I feel at peace with the decision that Mike and I have made to continue on with everything. She is such a sweet innocent little baby. I can't even explain how I feel when I am with her or my other two kids. They have brought such joy to my life and even in this situation they bring more. I can't wait for the day we are all together.
During my visit last night the nurse was having trouble with Kali's feeding tube. For some reason her milk wouldn't flow through like it usually does. By the time I had left we (the nurse and I) thought we had it figured out so I was surprised when I called to check on her before bed to hear that there were still some issues. Then this morning when I called to check on how her night went, the nurse told me that she was still having trouble with her tube and the surgeons asked them to not feed her over night and they would be in to check it out first thing in the morning.
This morning when we went in for our visit Kali's day shift nurse, Rachel, told us that when she opened Kali's pajamas she saw that the feeding tube had come out of Kali's belly (I'm sure it had some assistance from Kal herself). So she now has a new accessory called a Mic-key Button. It is a cool little device. It is basically a little port that is into her stomach that the nurses connect a tube it to feed her and then they take the tube off when she's done and close it. So when she is wearing clothes it doesn't look like there is anything there.
Also over night she started using a pacifier. When we noticed that she was trying to stuff her hands in her mouth we tried and she didn't get it. But now she is a pro. Because she didn't get fed all night she was a very hungry girl and was extremely fussy. She cried (she does cry but doesn't make any noise because of the breathing tube) and would only calm down if she had her pacifier. It was so cool to see her suck on it because it is another step in her development.
She had a very good day so far today and that makes it a little easier to go back to work tonight. I haven't been to work since the morning I got put on bed rest. I think I have been off about 13 weeks or so. The fact that I should only be getting ready to go on maternity leave makes it a little harder to be going back. I am really going to try to handle it all but it is so tough. I work with a great group of people though so I am hoping they take it easy on me!