Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Feeling Like A Falsely Accused Criminal

We have a doctor's appointment coming up on Thursday. This one will be another two-parter. First is a Level 2 ultrasound to check for the growth of little Miss Kali and her GI tract issues--hopefully to confirm CHOP's results. I also figure they will take a peek at my cervix while doing the ultrasound. The last time my cervix was checked was on March 17th (what a way to celebrate St. Patty's Day!!) and I was 2-3 cm dilated. That was when I was still in the hospital. At my last appointment they didn't want to check because of the risk of stirring things up. So now I am afraid that if my cervix has gotten any further dilated they will keep me in the hospital again. That is what makes me feel like I'm in jail for something I didn't do. Being on hospital bed rest SUCKS! Both times I have been in the hospital I had no symptoms of labor, aside from very, VERY mild menstrual-like cramps.
So today and yesterday I stared getting this anxiety about going to the appointment. I feel like I am being accused of something I didn't do and am going to court knowing that, regardless of my testimony, I may end up back behind "bars". I feel like I am in a time crunch and need to tie up all of my loose ends at the house before I go so that I have less anxiety while I'm there than I did last time.
And the timing couldn't be worse. Sunday is Easter. While just a "minor" holiday in the eyes of most people, I really enjoy these little holidays. Especially when food is involved! Also coming up in 13 days is my little Rissa-Roo's 2nd birthday and I do not want to miss that special day!
I seriously hope that I am just getting way ahead of myself and completely over analyzing the situation (that's what happens when you give a hormonal, emotional, pregnant woman all the time in the world with nothing constructive to do with it).
I'll let you know what happens! Keep your fingers crossed that by 11am on Thursday I am back on my couch where I belong!!!!

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